Art by Chiarra Briones
With every kick at my gut, I was reminded that I was not alone. With every fluttering in my stomach, I knew he was there, his father’s son, and he was coming very soon.
He came and I did not have any idea what I had to do.
How does one prepare for baby?
Preparing for baby usually meant decorating the nursery and buying the million and one things one anticipates the baby will need – a crib, a pram, shirts of all shapes and sizes. Not anymore. If the would-be parents have money, imagination and worry to spare, here are some things they can “invest” in: Lamaze or Bradley classes, cordblood banking, giving birth outside of the Philippines.
Lamaze or Bradley Classes
I was absolutely certain that I wanted to give birth via caesarian section. This, I discovered, was called elective caesarian, and was becoming a choice for mothers (especially in the US) because of tocophobia or fear of child birth (I was in labor for 19 hours during my first so yes I am afraid of it). What’s not to want? It is virtually pain free (no huffing and puffing and loud guffaws, well, until you wake up, that is), you can choose the baby’s birthday (but he has to be at least 37 weeks at the time of birth), maternity leave is longer (78 days versus 60 for normal). Sure it costs more, sure it is for emergency situations only, sure there might be complications after… but but but.
But.
I was told in a conspiratorial whisper by a colleague that she was born via C-section and she feels that because she did not go through the “canal” before she saw the “light”, she feels a crisis of some sort, now that she is 40… and she has feelings of “wanting to go through birth” (rebirth?). She added: C-section has a psychological effect on the newborn, who is wired to enter this world vaginally (and was deprived of the experience). She provided me with (disturbing and enlightening) research on the effects of a ceasarian birth.
That did it. Since then, I decided that I was going to give birth the natural way.
Now, Bradley or Lamaze?
There are 2 providers in the Philippines (the more well-known ones, at least): Chiqui Brosas for Bradley and Rome Kanapi for Lamaze.
The primary difference is that the Bradley method instructs women to focus on controlling their pain. In Lamaze, they are taught to distract from it. Similarities include the use of deep breathing techniques, the encouragement of appropriate exercise for the expectant mother during her pregnancy, and the involvement of both parents (yes, daddy too) in the birthing process.
The investment (2010 prices): Chiqui charges P4,500 for 4 sessions (Greenhills). Rome charges P4,000 for 6 sessions (Quezon City).
The return: normal birth, which would mean less psychological trauma for mommy and baby (and yes, hubby), if some books are to be believed.
Fast forward: We ended up not taking any classes. Chiqui moved her sessions to Greenhills and it took some time for Rome to get back to me (but she eventually did). I decided to just save the money. After all I did have Lamaze classes in the US for my eldest and I counted on remembering. Well, on the day, I needn’t have bothered. Before the epidural needle entered my spine, I was knocked out because of the pain medicine. (sheepish smile)
Next, more of investments for baby…
About the Author: Issa or Melissa Remulla-Briones is the author of the blog You Want to Be Rich. A director of MoneyDoctors, Inc., she is passionate about helping people understand money matters, practice wealth attraction and attain financial freedom.
Tags: Bradley, Caesarian Section, Chiarra Briones, Chiqui Brosas, Lamaze, Melissa Remulla-Briones, Rome Kanapi, Tocophobia, You Want to Be Rich
just a few comments about the c-section and vaginal birth and the effects of where the baby comes out…(more of a defense than a comment because both my boys came out through my nike swoosh looking scar) i would think that it does not actually matter where the baby comes out, but how the parents raise that child that would affect how the child would act or think…a baby could come out the natural way and be neglected his/her whole life and as a result would feel unloved and unwanted. another baby could come out through c-section and be given all the love and attention he/she needs and would feel complete. also another factor to consider is the baby and or the mother’s health, for an awesome example, i had pre eclampsia and eclampsia and my first born was dying so they had to cut me open to save my life and his…my second child wouldn’t turn so i had to get cut open for the second time because of his stubbornness…especially because he was trying to come out bum first and was already half way through the canal. what i am trying to point out is that the focus of the parents shouldn’t be how they deliver their baby out into this world but how they should care and nurture for them and teach them the right values and principles by of course being the example their children need.
p.s. the link for the article does not work…
@Madelene Again there is that debate – nature versus nurture – thanks for pointing it out. And I agree – how parents rear their children would greatly affect how they are as adults. But if a parent is given a choice between going natural or having the c-section, between giving in to their impulse of a quicker and scheduled birth than screaming it out as most mothers have done – then my article urges them to (please) do it the natural way. With the increasing trend of having c-section just for the heck of it – I thought I would throw in my two cents to the discussion and help the decision makers decide, with the caveat that the link (to the research) provided be taken with a grain of salt. But the story about my colleague was true, and the feelings she felt were real. I apologize if it made you feel uneasy. It is unfair, yes, that your babies would in the future undergo those feelings when you were forced by life-threatening circumstances to have them the c-section way. But like you said, rearing is powerful and love is powerful – I am sure that research or no research, your children would be perfectly alright.
PS. According to my c-section colleague, scientists have invented some sort of a tube that caesarian babies can go through to simulate vaginal birth. Maybe adults are next? Just food for thought.
PPS. The above link should work – if not, you can google “stroeckenverdult english” and click on the first article on *.pdf file. You can also read this one. It also mentions the power of a parent’s touch.